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[seegodhatesme]

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[seegodhatesme]

You don't know how your family would stand on this, this is conjecture. Unless you haven't told me that you found the diary of an outcast great uncle who went through this.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I know that it's unprecedented, and there's probably a good reason for it. And that I'm not willing to risk our family's eternal damnation and estrangement on me getting to spend a few more years with you and Simon.

[seegodhatesme]

[Something changes in her face at that, like a blade turning to catch the light.]

Then we'll find out.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[Well, that's a little worrying. Trevor's breath catches]

Yeah? How? You going to phone up some long-dead relatives?

[seegodhatesme]

'Phone up?'

I'll drag one of them here, if I have to.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Oh, my god.

[seegodhatesme]

I am not going to lose you to a risk.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You're going to wake those who are peacefully at eternal rest. And they'll be cranky and give you the same answer I am.

[seegodhatesme]

And you'd rather miss everything, lose everything, than disturb them.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[he takes a breath, face a rush of red]

I'd rather go to my grave like I was supposed to, than unnaturally extend my life with the help of a necromancer, and summon up my dead family, who hunted unnatural phenomenon, in order to ask them permission to fully estrange us all from them forever.

[seegodhatesme]

[Sypha draws back, at last, sitting up beside his legs to press her hands to her face, staring at him over her fingers.]

Because that is what you have decided will happen, and you won't see any other options. You said it yourself, this is unprecedented.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[He wonders how they got to talking about this when he came here to comfort Sypha. Maybe it all ties together into this original argument]

No, that's what will happen. You don't bring back a family of monster hunters. No matter the reason.

[He reaches for her hand to pull it gently away from her face]

It's nice of you to want this for us. But it's a bad idea. The answer isn't going to be what you want, and if I have to talk to the corpses of people I knew in life, it's going to be...well. That part isn't unprecedented.

[seegodhatesme]

[She tugs her hand out of his, jaw set and tight. This is an argument she's been biting back for weeks, it was going to eventually happen. ]

Then I will find other sources.

[And keep the possibility of speaking with the dead as a last resort. She does remember how well that went for St. Germaine.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

[he drops his empty hand into his lap, shoulders lowering]

It's more than that.

I'm tired, Sypha. I'm an old killer out of history, and I don't know how to live in a world that doesn't need me. I'd be bitter, and useless, and I'd ruin whatever happiness you and Simon manage to find.

I saw you in Targoviste. When you were instructing everyone around you, and putting together food and outhouses and medical supplies.

You were brilliant. You don't need me souring up that with my uselessness. Simon doesn't need a father who doesn't know how to cry or show emotions other than anger or exhaustion.

I'm getting worse the longer I stay here; I can mask it for a while but it's always in the back of my head.

[seegodhatesme]

[She stills again, though her eyes are still narrowed.]

Was he unhappy?

You got to meet him. I didn't. Was he unhappy?

[atowncalledtreffy]

No. He was a normal, happy kid.

[he admits, quietly]

But I don't know if that's the Admiral pulling the strings. Creating an ideal future to force me to choose his way. We don't know if that was our kid.